I finally did it; I completed my Yoga 200 Teacher Training, a goal I set for myself a while back after my personal yoga practice sent me on a transformative journey that I am ever so grateful for. Unfortunately, the program that I chose completely derailed me from my practice and I ended up pulling away and retreating as far from yoga as I could.
It’s called being out of alignment. I was so out of alignment with the program, I didn’t resonate with the teachers, the program felt cold, sterile and very athletic/fitness-driven. Athletics have never ever been my thing… back in school I used every excuse to sit out of gym class, just so I could sit there with my headphones listening to music. This program brought back the ‘gym class’ vibes and I ran away and avoided it as much as possible.
Did I mention it was an online program? It was one of those decisions that I made too quickly without enough research. BOOM lesson learned. Buttttt I am paying for it, so it HAS to get done! I only chose this program because the cost was about ⅓ of the price of other programs I was looking into and unfortunately the cost was the determining factor in this beautiful economy we currently reside in.
So, like I normally do when I get overwhelmed with all of the hundreds of ideas and plans that I have swirling in my mind constantly… I shut down. I freeze. I procrastinate. I don’t get things done and I just pick up more projects or hobbies to consume my inability to complete whatever it is I am running from.
PHEW. I completed my gym class finally, working my way to becoming Yoga 200 certified… but I AM NOT TEACHING any time soon. I do not feel like I learned much at all from this program. I could have just bought a book on yoga and been more equipt. My real yoga teaching journey begins now. With real-life teachers. I need to be inspired by teachers I resonate with, that I can learn from and build connections.
Everyone’s journey is completely personal and unique. My yoga practice has been intuitively led (after practicing in a studio years ago.) I don’t even know what kind of ‘style’ of yoga it would be even called, because again that yoga program taught me almost nothing.
I shut my mind off, play music and allow the experience to intuitively unfold. It has been so healing, so meditative… and I haven’t done it since beginning the program because I allowed my distaste to shape my desire to do yoga.
I guess what I seek through my yoga journey is for it to be a meditative, spiritual experience. My favorite location on my property is on the dock on the pond out back, or somewhere quiet there in the forest. A quiet, serene location nestled in the trees where I allow the sound of nature to help me find stillness.
Nature has always been my teacher, my guide. It is where I go when I seek answers, where I vent, where I dream.
My journey with doing yoga in nature, my insane interest in energy after my experience with Kundalini, and my desire to help guide others along their healing journey is what inspired me to seek the yoga-teacher path. I had no idea how far I would be pushed away from it simply because it was out of alignment with my soul.
I am beyond relieved that I completed this dreadful experience, and I cannot wait to allow my journey to continue to unfold, in alignment. Being grounded; barefoot in the forest is one of the most unbelievable feelings the soul can feel.
I cannot wait to return to my forest-yoga. Well, not right now… it’s currently cold and swampy back there. I do not seek to swamp-chaturanga.
I guess my Yoga 200 was more-so a learning experience for me. I need to take my time and do more research before making such important decisions. I jumped the gun, as I often do, and sometimes it works out… but this time it did not.
I had to face the repercussions of having to persevere through something that was completely out of alignment with my soul; but wow do I feel so much better now that I have now released it. It’s time to welcome in what is in alignment with my soul. That is forever the goal.
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